Solitaire 3000
by Jemascola
Summary: Bored by playing the traditional solitaire computer game, two friends design a much more exciting game.
1. Chapter 1

**Solitaire 3000**

_**By Joe**_

**Summary:** Bored by playing the traditional solitaire computer game, two friends design a much more exciting game.

**Chapter 1**

Seventeen-year-old Joe sat in front of his computer on a lonely Saturday afternoon. He did not have much better to do. He had already cut his lawn on the previous Friday, he had completed all of his other chores, and most of his friends were out of town. So there was nothing better for him to do than play solitaire on the computer.

Click, drag, click, drag, click, drag. Joe had gotten quite used to this pattern. He had been playing solitaire for the past 10 years, starting when his father purchased a laptop computer for his job. The game fascinated Joe, and he had become addicted to it, playing it in his free time. He often got frustrated because there were times he were so close to winning, but a slight problem with the card arrangement prevented him from winning.

Though the game of solitaire was fun for Joe, he had to admit that he was getting rather tired of it. The game lost its sparkle after playing continuously for 10 years. Joe realized this as he drug the Ace of Spades onto one of the stacks.

"I'm so bored with this game," admitted Joe. "I've got to do something better with my time." He closed the solitaire window and went online to a message board called Trollia. Joe was an internet troll, and he liked communicating with other trolls through their personal message board. He saw that a user named Muztang2000, otherwise known as Mike, posted a new message. Joe clicked the topic to read Mike's message.

"Are you bored?" the message said. "I sure am."

Joe replied to Mike's message. "Yes, I am very bored. My friends are out of town, and I don't have any chores to do. There's nothing more for me to do than just play a game of solitaire."

He then clicked the "submit" button, and Joe's message appeared. Not long after that, Mike replied, saying, "Solitaire is fun, but I get bored by it. It's so boring."

"It is," admitted Joe.

Mike then posted, "Hey, I know! Why don't we get together and make our own version of solitaire! I know computer programming, and you're good at coming up with stuff, so we can make a new solitaire!"

"Good idea," said Joe. The two then exchanged addresses, and they decided to meet at Joe's house. Mike showed up about an hour later. "Hello, Mike. It's nice to meet a fellow troll in person," said Joe.

"Ditto," agreed Mike. The two walked over to Joe's computer and sat down at it. "So…what should we do?"

"Well, it's just so boring because there's no sound, and all you do is click and drag," Joe explained.

"You know, I always thought that it would be fun if solitaire were a multi-player game," said Mike.

"That's a possibility," said Joe. "Now we just need to put some pizzazz on it…like add loud sound effects. Maybe there can be a 'BANG' whenever you lay down an Ace."

"I like it, I like it," said Mike.

"And the interface has to look a lot cooler. Instead of the green background, it has to be pitch black, and the outlines of the cards can be white or something…or maybe red," said Joe. "And we can say that winners of the game can win $500 from Bill Gates."

"Dude, we can't do that," said Mike. "How will we get Bill Gates to pay the winner for winning the game?"

"He won't," Joe said with a grin. "That's the point. It's the art of trolling."

"Ah…sneaky, aren't we?" Mike laughed.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

Mike and Joe had begun to design their new game of solitaire with sound effects, a new interface, and dual-player, online capabilities. They snickered their heads off as they typed in the notice that said Bill Gates would pay them $500 for winning a game. That would really bring in a lot of players. But Mike realized something important that he had to bring up before the two released their new game into the public.

"Dude…aren't we violating the copyright? Solitaire belongs to Microsoft, and we're butchering the program and are going to market it as our own without any permission whatsoever," Mike said with concern.

"That's what trolls do," said Joe. "Don't worry, that computer geek will never find out…as long as we're careful."

"But people will eventually find out if we have the game available for a long time," said Mike.

"Let's just give this a test run to see what happens," said Joe.

Mike reluctantly agreed, and when they finished programming the game, they decided to title the game Solitaire 3000. It was a much more refurbished version of the classic made by Microsoft. The game play was similar to that of the old version of solitaire, only there were two playing fields, one for each user. The object of the game was for one of the users to win solitaire before the other user.

In addition to the dual-player capability, the game's sound effects were also interesting. Whenever a player laid down a card, a ricochet sound emitted. If a player tried to move a card to an illegal place, a "boing" sound would spring out, and the card would fly back to its original place. And at the end of the game, the winner of the game would receive the sound of applause and fireworks on his or her computer, while the loser of the game would hear the sound of a "wrong-answer" buzzer.

Mike and Joe created a website especially for Solitaire 3000 and uploaded the game to the internet. They also set up many ads for the game on message boards. When they spammed boards, they spammed with a notice to play the Solitaire 3000 game.

Not long after putting up the ads, the number of players soared to 10,000 within 15 minutes. Needless to say, both Mike and Joe were shocked. They decided to play the game themselves and challenge others. Mike and Joe always won because they knew how their program's AI functioned. It was also vital that they won because if the others won, they would soon realize that the claim that Bill Gates would pay them $500 was a fraud. Unfortunately, Mike and Joe were about to face such a problem.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

Mike and Joe laughed and high-fived each other at the great work they'd done on Solitaire 3000. But they were about to play a game that they could not win. A player known only as thecrazyguycz showed up and challenged the two to a game.

"Mike, do you want to go?" Joe asked.

"I've played the last 15 games," said Mike. "You can go, Joe," he said.

"Thanks," said Joe. He scooted his chair closer to the computer and immediately started clicking and dragging cards, listening to the dazzling sound. But Joe was shocked when he saw that thecrazyguycz had a much better shot at winning. His cards were arranged in a much more desirable pattern. Joe hoped that he would win, despite the fact that thecrazyguycz had the upper hand.

At last, both thecrazyguycz and Joe had three complete stacks of cards, and they both had one stack that needed a 2 of hearts. They clicked on the deck, and they both got their cards. Instantly, they began clicking away so that they could get all their cards in the stacks. Joe was stacking as fast as he could, but thecrazyguycz was much faster than he was.

"Come on, Joe, hurry, you can do it!" Mike said.

"I'm trying," said Joe, frantically clicking away, nearly making his mouse explode, "but he's too fast for me." Nevertheless, he still tried to catch up, but it was to no avail. At last, he reached the top of the stacks, clicking to stack the kings. But it was too late. Thecrazyguycz had already stacked all of his kings. He had won the game. The loud sound effects of applause and fireworks emitted on thecrazyguycz's computer, while a "wrong-answer" buzzer emitted on Joe's computer.

"Don't worry, you tried," said Mike.

"_Don't worry_? Dude, we promised that Bill Gates would pay the winner $500, and this guy's not going to get it. We'll be in **HUGE** trouble when they find out it's a fake!" Joe said.

Meanwhile, thecrazyguycz was prancing all around his computer. "Yes! I did it, I did it! I'm winning $500 from Bill Gates! But wait…how do I know when I get it? Maybe I'd better send him an e-mail." Thecrazyguycz went to Microsoft's website and clicked the e-mail link to e-mail Bill Gates.

"Mr. Bill Gates," the e-mail read, "I played Solitaire 3000, and there was a notice that said that you would send the winner $500. When do I get it, and should I send you my address so you can give me the check?"

Thecrazyguycz sent the e-mail to Bill Gates, and he waited patiently. As he waited, he sipped his Dr. Pepper. Finally, he was elated when he found that Bill Gates had actually responded. Wow! The one and only Bill Gates! Thecrazyguycz eagerly opened the e-mail to see when Bill Gates would send his check. But he was dismayed when he read the message.

"You've got to be kidding me, right? Microsoft has not published a game called Solitaire 3000. I Googled the name of the game, and I was shocked to find that someone had taken apart my program and advertised it without permission. I will track these hooligans down and have them charged for illegal modification of my program," said Bill Gates's e-mail.

Over at the Microsoft headquarters, Bill Gates hacked once more into the programming of Solitaire 3000 to find out the crooks that messed with his game. While scanning all the lines of codes, he finally stumbled upon the IP address of the computer. He used one of his programs to track the location of the computer with the IP address and find the e-mail address. He successfully located Joe's computer and e-mail address and sent him a message.

"Sir, I am charging you with illegal modification of my program because you advertised and posted a modified version of my solitaire game without permission. You have broken the Terms of Use for Windows, and that is a very big offense. I'll see you in jail," Bill Gates typed in his e-mail to Joe.

Meanwhile, Mike and Joe were still worried about how to deal with thecrazyguycz, when Joe realized he received an e-mail. He opened it, and his eyes opened in shock when he saw that he was in big trouble. He collapsed on the floor and fainted. "Joe, Joe? Are you okay?" Mike asked. Joe wouldn't respond. He'd learned his lesson. Illegal modification of a program belonging to a major coporation was a big no-no.

**The End**


End file.
